no mood to work

Working At mbs is getting real bored n out of purpose. No aim no new challenge.

I need a new life.

4 more months to go. ...

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spending a "little" too much

Omg, what have I done today? 

At chinatown bought 2 sets of clothing at $27

Then went OG n got a Guess handbag for $69.

At work I got a dress for $63.20 from mdm butterfly.

Kinda cool to have a some sort traditional dress this cny!  but its Black so cant wear it on first day.

More spending to come,  I guess! !!

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can't think

After zach starts school when he turns 18mth. I gotta find something to do.

I wanna continue my studies but I dunno what I want.

Hope I sort my thoughts out n know after cny.

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Alone

Suddenly I felt lonely
No one can really give me that companion when I really needed some humans ard ...
Now w/o Zachary, seriously I do not know what I could do.
Neither can I find someone to go out with !

I need a life !!!

Life is getting a little empty

I think my daily life is way too boring.
It's all about Zachary n this home,
And it seems like someone just wouldn't care.
It's time to add some spices into my life.
It wouldn't be just him n him,
It will be alittle of me time from now on.
U make me do this so don't blame me for it !

Hate To Be Sick

Super bad food poisoning ....
Vomiting and LS all day long....
Like on a super slimming treatment,
plus did not eat the whole day ytd....

OppZzz

Long time no blog!!!
Bcuz I'm too lazy !!!!

Malacca Trip (10-11dec 2011)

 A drive in was pretty FUN
but not enough time to shop leh =(
The mood of going JB shopping is there
OMFG!!!!!
Maybe is xmas shopping mood in me !
HELPPPPP I'm so damn BROKE

Bath Tub Time

I hate RAIN (juz today)

I'm so wanting to go USS again!
The RAIN spoil everything =(
I wanna play many rides BUT ....
STUPID RAIN, THE WHOLE DAY !!!!
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER .....
But at least i enjoyed my stay at the resort
and a few hrs off w/o Zachary,
just the 2 of US time ard sentosa
thou it was quite disappointing that most rides were STOP.
And WHY??? ---->stupiat RAIN LA

Finally got my ring

Exhausted

Have not been sleeping well enough recently.
I'm so tired!!!
It's a busy week for me, so many to do.
Appointments almost everyday.
This sat to USS !! Yippee
Can't wait !!!!!!
Photos n more photos !!!!

What really happened

U said u will b back 30mins.
Then I gave u the benefit of adult.
1 hr later still not home!
I called n called both lines
Ended each phone switched off.
I admit I don't trust u
But at the same time, worried something happened.
I have no choice but to call Justin.
Then in a short while u called back!
What does all these means ?

I really really do not know how to trust you anymore!

Tell me what should I do ?

OMG

I think I'm slacking on my diet plan
Feels I'm gaining weight !!!
I hate FATS !!!!
Arggg!!!!!!

counting down

5 more freaking days to
Breaking Dawn !!!!
hurry hurry hurry

Trust?

I do not know if i can still trust u!
Bcuz I have doubts ALWAYS !!!

If u want me to believe,
Work for it !!!

Hope hope hope

I wish for a day that I wouldn't have to be angry with u !!!!
Prove me wrong will u ?
Just once for god sake !!!!

I love quotes

Easy / Difficult

Easy is to get a place in someone's contact list.
Difficult is to get a place in someone's heart.

Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes.

Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue.

Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.
Difficult is to heal the wound.

Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness.

Easy is to set rules
Difficult is to follow them.

Easy is to dream every night
Difficult is to fight for a dream.

Easy is to show victory
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity.

Easy is to admire a full moon
Difficult to see the other side.

Easy is to stumble with a stone
Difficult is to get up.

Easy is to enjoy life every day
Difficult to give its real value.

Easy is to promise something to someone
Difficult is to fulfill that promise.

Easy is to say we love
Difficult is to show it every day.

Easy is to criticize others
Difficult is to improve oneself.

Easy is to make mistakes
Difficult is to learn from them.

Easy is to weep for a lost love
Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it.

Easy is to think about improving
Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action.

Easy is to think bad of others
Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Easy is to receive
Difficult is to give.

Easy is keep the friendship with words
Difficult is to keep it with meanings.

Easy to read this
Difficult to follow.

Abba mania 2011

Finally recovering

My childhood doctor still the BEST!
After coughing for so damn long .....
Like more than A month.
Got to see Doctor for 3 times.
First time that DOCTOR SUCKS
and made me got so much worst!!!!
2nd was TCM, but still not recovering
and made me vomit whole lot
Now 3rd, Doctor Tan@loyang
His diagnosis was right and his prescriptions worked.
I feel BETTER now !
will get well in no time I hope

Happy Birthday Jonathan!

Royce Chocolate For U !
Have a sweet Birthday

Shouldn't had ate that prata

It's jus not cool to vomit everything out!!!
I meant everything since afternoon
It's terrible miserable ~
No one would know how I feel !!!!
Man this sucks sucks sucks !!!
To the MAX!!!!
I wanna get well like NOW
But it jus feel impossible even like anytime later :(

Jobless Nov

Not much show this month!
Dec pay day will b like shit!

Super bad cough

Been coughing like for a month!
Y is it that now is getting worst !
It sucks man....
Nothing is going right!!!!
Zachary is getting so naughty
I really can't take it much longer !!!!
Driving me to e limit n I'm going crazy !!!!

Don push any further cuz when I explode
I do not know what I am capable off....

The thought of giving up just increase each day

Feels like trying to put on an effort n bringing our relationship closer was a wrong move. Thought that all along was me having a wall in between was my bad, but now I got myself into deep shit!
I should have never pull down that wall....

All guys are the same !
Many a times I feel like just giving up everything and walk away.
Leaving everything here and just walk off.
Since he have the money n to him money can solve almost all problem.

I don need his money and if he feels that he is capable of taking of Zachary, I let go too!

Really sick and tired of this life.
I'm like wasting my time with u!!!!!

Sucks !

I hate to b sick !
Y do I keep falling ill these days !!!
Seriously SUCKS to the max !!!

I like quotes

Men are born between a woman's legs and spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in between them, cuz there's no place like home.

Damn so true !

Guys would love this

Reached e limit

So much wanting to say fuck off but I'm holding back due to ur bro joyous occasion !

Just 1 question, who the fuck this person is and it will determine ur fate with me !

Me&Zach

Preparing to head out~

Happy birthday

I wanna wish u a happy birthday
As a friend~
Enjoy ur day ....

Silent wishes :)

Manicure & pedicure done !

Luv luv my nails <3
New gelish nails cum blink blink
N nee style of colours for my toes

<3

Simply edited shots

A fruitful Sunday :)
Love shopping together with <3
Got my first diamond ring
Had a nice dinner @LaoBeiJing

Zachary luv swimming

 

His smile jus brighten up everything in my life !

U r losing my trust!

U said u will come back ard 11pm...
Even so I still gave u some grace period thus SMS u at 11.30pm.
And ur reply was yes coming back!

1 hr later not back yet?
So u r coming back from jurong?
Or u need to walk home ???

If u got things to do?
Got shit to talk then don say coming home!
Or do u meant by yes u r coming home for the night but not coming home now!
Still can wtf me !!!!

Since this is what u give me then
don blame me for giving u e cold shoulder!

Sad to say,
I think chances are limited too,
N urs are all being used up!

MUST Stay pretty :)

Doing my mud mask !!!
From today onwards is a full strict diet plan !!!
Must slim down !!!!
Focus focus focus >.<

HAPPY 9TH MTH ZACHARY BABY

<3 l0ve y0u My LittLe nAughty Boy! <3

Jus dont get u guys!!!

What r guys thinking nowadays !!!!????

Hello! I'm married !!!
What r u all still thinking abt ?
Or what do u guys take me as ?!!!?
U don't happily text me those bloody shit!
I'm not ur play thing ok !

Yes, I may have some issues with my husband but that doesn't give me the excuse to get into some F.shit outside.

FYI ! I'm not such a woman okay !!!!
And I'm not someone u can try ur luck on
Sorry to say that but I can't help calling u guys assholes !!!!

We r still friends but seriously dont give me that shit

Tired

I'm so no mood for work today.
Where's e spirit I used to have?
Sigh ~

Happy birthday Arthur !!!

Is like after so long I been to club !!!
Finally a fun night at Zouk with Arthur n Niao Niao ....

Super enjoy !!!

Zachary @ Kingsley's wedding

Quote

"When u feel like giving up, Remb how u hold for so long in the first place"

This can only apply to first timers !

Now when I feel like giving up, I will Remb how stupid is to hang on n continue wasting my time

How long more ?

First u said 2-3 mths ok I wait!
Then u said 1/2 yr.... Fine !!!
Then u extended another 2-3 mths.
And now u asked me to wait for 18 mths, which means is 1&1/2 yrs .
WTF !!!!
If u think u can sustain a family this way by all means.
Zachary will grow up fast let see if he can wait.
Relationship gap between us will grow wider. So let's see the result of wait!
In addition to ur nonsense...
I can't wait for e results !!!
If this family is not important compared to ur "work" then so be it!

Seriously, feelings faded so much over time n what's left only is commitment.
I'm really sick n tired n exhausted ....
I am more like a maid to u doing all ur laundry n cleaning up e mess u do in my house !!!

Pissed & irritated

At the rate we are going right now, I wonder how long this could last?
Jus a warning, don wait till it's too late then regrets n sincere apology starts.
U need time I gave but how long more do u need.
Seriously limits are coming till e end...

Zachary first car ride

Aimless days

It seems like I have been passing each day meaninglessly.
Other then working on Wednesday and Saturday, 
the rest of the days are all wasted slacking away.
I don't feel like doing anything and I am kinda sick of this life style.
But what am I supposed to do ?

SighZz, my only concern is Zachary !!
I did to plan something to do or else I am gonna get lazier each day !

I think I'm falling sick !

Don't feel well since this morning.
Having headache and now flu symptom starts comin in
I guess I have not been sleeping well recently.
All thanks to Zachary's Father !!!!

Seriously,I'm not gonna bother abt his stuff anymore.
He can do whatever he likes ............
I'm tired of his crap !

I'm back!!!

Krabi is a nice relaxing place but sadly not enough time of my own.
I wanna explore but due to my aunt n my godmom doesn't like e beach.
Much time was wasted on many other stupid stuff!!!
But it's okie, I will plan a trip there again someday going with someone nice!

Krabi trip

Flying off with zach again...

Since then,

After the first meeting up, 

We did not SMS anymore ....

What m I feeling?
Things are never the same....
thou I hope to receive his SMS BUT,

I do not know why I hope so.

There isnt any sweet feelings anymore
I just do not know where all my feelings went to
Maybe my LOVE LIFE just ended,
and NOW is all abt ZACHARY, ZACHARY & still ZACHCARY

He is the ONLY LOVE of my LIFE !

Making choices

Love is somehow making CHOICES.
Its either choosing :

Pain for others happiness 

OR
Happiness for others pain

Not Thinking VS Forgetting

U can erase someone from your mind,
BUT getting them out of ur heart is another story

The Lion King Musical

FINALLY watched the performance today

OMFG!!!

It was awesOme nice

Thou I cried during the beginning

cuz suddenly I just feel very very sad.

Not knowing Y, Musicals just reminds me of the past

REMINDS me of Me&You
My tears rolled down uncontrollably...

It took me awhile to settle my emotions! 

"It's hard to forget someone whom u've imagined spending forever with"

Why was I so nervous?

After so long, and we met again...
Thou it was for a short while BUT it seems a long heart to heart chat
I was so nervous talking to him so near again....

This time is not in my dreams, BUT right infront of me.
He said we would meet again.
Now that he left, my heart is still beating fast !

why tell me this?

Some girls are just that cheap, well it's non of my problem right! Yes I do pity u having ur problems and stuff plus bringing up 2 Kids on ur own but still I simply just don like u! Sad to say but sorry I don like the way u approach me!!! I'm not worried or suspecting u r having something going on with my husband. U don't have to explain to me right? So what u care for him? Y wanna tell me? And so what if ur relationship between u n him are just like bro Sis? I don't give a damn .... But why wanna come tell me all these stuff? Just 1 word WEIRD !!!!!

Did i make the wrong choice?

Sometimes you've to let go, not because you give-up, but you realize that there are things that cannot be! So what we r in contact now, things changed n there's nth I could do now. Bcuz it's different already I'm married with a kid... I gotta stop thinking n let it go !

"Sometimes Letting Go is the ANSWER"  

It HURTS, BUT I've learn that its better to suffer,

and see the one I love HAPPY.

In my Dreams You are Mine, In my Life You are my Dreams

Letting go

My way of LOVING,
I want the best for You
even thou it means swallowing the sad reality that
the BEST just isnt ME

Some things are not meant to be said

My mouth is shut tight, but I could hear the voice from my heart! It shall be e greatest secret of my life hoping ONE DAY I can really let it just go

the lion king musical

Back to working life, every saturday. Starting from next month will be every Wednesdays n Saturdays! I'm not sure if I should work or not, is Like everything changed. the advantage is that I could have my own savings n spending but I would rather work else where with a higher pay. Sigh!!! What should I do ?

focus time

I got to do what I need to do Packing this stupid damn messy room Throw what I gotta throw .... Don hold back just throw !

Super ANGRY

I know I couldn't blame him for not being there at the finals 
Cuz I'm e one who ask him to wait for his granny.
And definitely I couldn't be angry with an old lady.... 
though is HER that make Hendry missed the finals 
and I was not brave enough to go against the other KISU parents
The point when Zachary cried, I feel so upset that I could feel my tears
all I could do was to carry Zac out the water right away.  
But the judges say let him stay in, just a few more mins left !
Stupid fatty parents .... shout so loud for what ..... !!!! 
I don't feel happy at all, 
I don mind losing BUT those kids didnt really 'swim' lo
they just looked the cutest n cuz Zac cried 
Concludsion is: Its just NOT SHIOK lo !!!
Do anyone get what I mean like how I feel .... 

ARGGGHHHHHH !!! DAMN 

In for the finals

Baby can swim contest ...
Zachary is in for the finals

I'm SICK

Fever, when was the last time I was sick?

Now 38.4 degree.C

Sigh~ Sick at the wrong time =(

This saying goes....

You do not know what you have got till it is gone. 
Truth is, 
you knew what you had, 
you just never thought you would lose it.

To Nex alone

brought Zac for his swim lesson.
He is havin the contest this sunday 
@ Nex Lvl 4R babyspa 10AM 
OMG i wonder how m I gonna wake up ?


Also Bought myself a pair of shoes n pants. 
like finally something for myself. 
The bubble tea @Nex not very nice leh,
I miss GONG CHA @ CitySquare Mall 
their white pearl super nice, I'm like addicted
But leh, abit EXPENSIVE!!! sigh

Lost

I do not know what I want anymore.

NOSTALGIA

I do not know why.....
Seeing some stuff or doing some chores
would sudden brings memories.
thinking back abt the past smiling yet deep inside felt sad.

It shouldn't be the case anymore right

He lied

saying did not drink but he did !

freaking PISSED 

Am I overly protective?

Many a times, I feel irritated by some who touches Zac

E.g was the coffee lady who maybe accidentally pushed the stroller,

while Zac was sleeping inside.......

And when just a small little boy (age 4-5) pull Zac's hand so roughly 

Including when my sister. I don like her carrying him too. 

I don't feel comfortable handing Zachary to other's care

I only feel secure when I can see him .....

Is like no one is better taking care of him than I do 

why am I this way >? 

Memories

Having many memories with someone who was once so close,
isnt something very nice when u think back .....
Those memories give me an unpleasant feeling.... 
Is not upset but kinda scare.... 
YCK MRT station is a place I still wanna avoid till now. 
thou now, all gotta new life BUT somehow....
WELL, memories still lingers around me.... 
Even if is nice n sweet ones......... 
I rather not have them !

Sometimes, I just wished that I had bleed to death and had not survive
I'm just a weakling that doesn't like to face the world !
Now that I survive..... 
I just want everything best for Zachary....
He is the only reason for me to go forward in life........

Happy Valentine's Day

Brought Zachary for his 2nd swimming course
Got my Valentines gift from Hubby
A nice <3 necklace 


But.... I am not content....

I FEEL FAT

Very FAT

Questioning myself

Am I doing Gd being a mother?
Am I looking after Zachary the right way ?
Thou, I don't give a damn but I wanna know,
am I doing well as a wife ?
I hate quarrels
BUT.....
I feel so frustrated at times with the way he does thing
Other than having zachary by my side,
actually I feel so alone inside.
Is like no one really understands ME.
Is like I have something in mind yet no one to turn to.
Bcuz, I can tell no one....

I want Zachary to grow up in a nice environment....
I want him to have a proper family.
Will this be possible ?

zachary gone swimming

he simply loves the water !

One more day to FREEDOM

Just hours more to freedom...
But I am not happy at all.
I don need any others to understand ME

a questioned joyous event

Suddenly, a break off now getting married with another,
whom the family has never seen b4 ..........
Hmmm loop holes and question marks !!!!
Well, I never believed in fairytale marriage....
ever since like mine was destroyed !

It feels like this life, I would never get a proper wedding.
Those imaginations I once had seems so far away...
But now, having a stable life is still a question so don think so much yet
How long can these last....... ???
I seriously DO NOT KNOW
and I am not assured at all

I must remind myself to ENDURE

Endure .... Not much time left needed to stay in this family. 
I really dunno what to say about this sis... 
Cant even wait for a moment when I'm busy 
Insist that she must have the charger immediately.
Despite saying I am BUSY, told her to wait
she can even argue back that why must wait n not pass her first. 
Maybe school nowadays didnt teach the word BUSY. 
The worst part of it was that she can even tell me off,
other then feeding the baby milk what else can I be busy with.

Now is like the other way round,
she is the older sister allowing her to tell me off !
Really FUCK UP !

And next moment when she needed me, 
her tone was so FUCKIN different. 
who cares about her injured leg......
solve her damn problem herself.... 
I am NOT FREAKING GONNA HELP HER!

Tml I'm gonna call up the HDB to ask regarding the application....
Man, what the hell is this.......
ENDURE ENDURE ENDURE....
after this phrase everything will be smooth sailing ahead !
I am sure of it ! 

Counting Down

23, 24, 25, 26, 27

5 More Freaking days to HELL-TIME over

Damn this confinement....

I feel so quarantined and isolated !!!!

Hungry at the wrong time!

It's so weird that I am not hungry in the DAY time
BUT only starting from the evening ....
I had Dinner at 7plus pm and I am hungry at 11pm already.
Drank the remaining chicken soup which is at least 1 bowl.
BUT still I am hungry, make a cup of milo ....
RESULT: I am still hungry !

DAMN!!!!

What is happening???
I gotta watch my diet know !

What does EX means

An "ex" is called an "ex" 

because it's an EXample 

of what I shouldn't have again in the future!

DamnItsTrue!

what do promises meant ?

Is proven to me that PROMISES meant to be broken.
I once did that, and now is coming back around huh!
Seriously..... I do not know whats more to do.
Maybe, I am asking too much in such a short period

Pissed !

Is right that one shouldn't shout or rises the voice to their parents.
But is it right for parents to rise their voice when they are unhappy?
When the matter of fact that the kid isn't at any fault !
Sometimes, I can't help feeling that my mom is seriously bias.
You can say I am sensitive but then again, 
I can lay out situations that prove me right !

Well.... ENDURE ENDURE ENDURE!!!!!
Can't wait to have my own place!!!!


Next BIG THING
Papa coming back on he 1st feb 
Relief to know that he have accept the fact I got a BABY 
But then, telling him my plans and stuff is a big headache
Hopes everything goes well and I better say the right thing !

Sigh!!!!!!!!!!

Fat Pig bday tml 
asked niao niao help me buy a cake.
Wanting to give him a surprise tonight BUT
will he be home by 12midnight ?
It's the first time I'm celebrating his bday 
thou he is off tml but still I want him back early.
Am I asking too much? 
Or is right to just let him go enjoy with friends for awhile. ?

Why m I feeling this way......

Cheer up Girl !

My precious little baby

cant wait cant wait !

I seriously cant wait to get rid of the confinement lady
I really dunno why I am paying her for !?!!!
thou is below market rate I'm paying but then her job is so cut short
there's nth much for her to do yet she uses my hse phone
WITHOUT MY PERMISSION
HELLO IS STILL MY HOUSE AFTER ALL
AND SO WHAT IF U ARE MY BRO'S GF'S MOTHER
Still I am paying her to get the job done !
If wanna complain, I will still have A LONG LIST !
Oh well, drop that topic !

Next I cant wait to have my own place.....
I cant wait to build my own family...
My own place, my own way !
own privacy, own space !
Own lifestyle !!!!!!!

My precious little baby